the chase.

God will bring us back in countless ways to the same point over and over again. And He never tires of bringing us back to that one point until we learn the lesson, because His purpose is to produce the finished product. It may be a problem arising from our impulsive nature, but again and again, with the most persistent patience, God has brought us back to that one particular point. Or the problem may be our idle and wandering thinking, or our independent nature and self-interest. Through this process, God is trying to impress upon us the one thing that is not entirely right in our lives. -Oswald Chambers

I've always wandered why I seem to go in this ridiculous, never ending cycle of being completely complacent and insanely thirty for the Word. I let my own self-interest and laziness get in the way, and fall so far behind in my walk that it's almost like I'm walking backwards. Then other times, I look around and realize that my surroundings and I look so much alike that I can't tell where one ends and the other begins. So, I start running. Hard. Sprinting into territory where His love is blatant and unhindered by my feelings of being too sinful to handle. But then, a few days, months, weeks later...I am a chamelion again.

The greatest thing is...He never tires of chasing after me. He is infinitely patient and infinitely loving. He wants me, and even though I am horrible at showing it...I want Him too. Even though I am so insanely scared of actually getting what I ask for, I want to live a life that is according to His plan. What that will be...only He knows, and only He is in control.