I found written in an old journal of mine a phrase that hit me harder than I've been hit in a while. At the end of some sermon notes from Feb. 2010, I had written:
"repent, Katie, of all the gospel that remains unpreached in your life."
The last few days I've really been trying to reflect on the sin in my life. I've just been so bogged down with it all; my strivings to make everyone around me happy, my incessant need to seem like I have it all together even when I'm completely wrecked on the inside, putting relationships in my life way before my relationship with Christ, and not to mention your everyday "looking like the rest of the world" sins with my actions, thoughts, and words.
When you ask God to reveal your sin, be prepared for Him to do so...
It's an incredibly painful process but it's a refining one...one where you are made better, stronger, sanctified...
But tonight, finding that line where I commanded myself in an old journal to stop taking the gospel so lightly, that's where I realized just how disgustingly sinful I am.
It's the gospel.
People's lives are at stake. Even more so, their eternities are being overlooked for the sake of our comfortable conversations.
I'm big on lyrics and my favorite line in a popular worship song is: break my heart for what breaks yours...
It's a plea for His will and to know Him more. It's asking to better understand the heart and mind of God. As a 24 year old female, I've most definitely had my heart broken. It's not something I would wish on my worst enemy and definitely not something I would pray for...unless it means breaking my heart to better know His.
When's the last time you truly asked God to break your heart? Ever?
To hate sin in the same way He does...
To not laugh at or overlook others in their sin but for your heart to ache as you advocate for them before Jesus...
For true conviction at the sin in your own life...
It's a journey I'm currently trying to take. To stop being comfortable and complacent with decisions I make and to be heart broken & completely wrecked for the sake of the gospel. To be so overcome with the gravity of my sin, but overflowing with a joy because the God who gave me these convictions has also saved me from them.
How can we rest in His grace, love, and mercy if we never reach into the depths of our wretchedness to understand what we've been saved from?
We must also tell the world of this saving grace. It's too sweet to keep to ourselves.
and as a sidenote: I don't claim to have it all together...I just claim to be a girl with an unshakeable Hope.
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