provision.

It's been a while since I've sat down & written a blog post. Life has been crazy & any free time was dedicated to work, school, & church. Not much lounging' & bloggin' able to happen.

But this was worth sitting down & sharing my heart…telling a story, really. My story.

It starts with a call…& we'll just have to wait & see how it ends. ;)

I think the best way to do this is to give you a timeline. So, let's try that.

When I started college back in 2007, I knew that I wanted to pursue a major that would allow me to have a career where I was helping people. I really didn't know what that looked like, but I just knew that I loved people. And I loved helping them. And I also knew that I loved Jesus & I wanted to share the gospel. So, for a girl who grew up in a Southern Baptist church all of my life…I thought going into full-time vocational ministry was my answer. I decided to pursue a degree in Organizational Communications because it would allow me the non-profit background that I wanted.

Then, about 4 or 5 months before I graduated, panic ensued. It hit me that I had NO IDEA what I wanted to do. My original passions were still there intact but I didn't know what to do with them. That's when I decided to go to my then college pastor, Jerel Olson, to help me try & figure out just what options for ministry were out there.

Let me tell you. I was such a mess. I was scared & felt completely lost. No one prepared me for the fact that I was about to be turned out into the real world without a clue…

Let's be real. I'm sure many people tried to clue me in on that…but I just didn't listen.

So, there I was, sitting in Jerel's office…crying like a baby & talking with him about options. I had a friend at the time that spent a summer helping with a church plant in Chicago in a predominantly homosexual community & I remember saying "That's the kind of thing I want to do. I could totally do that…" but I didn't know the first thing about church plants. Or really even what it was. I had grown up in well established churches where there was a paid, on-staff minister for every thing imaginable. Church planting was way out of my realm of knowledge.

Not much was resolved in that conversation. I didn't walk out with an answer. And that's not what I expected of Jerel either…he isn't my guru (or Jesus). I did leave a little more humbled & mentally exhausted but less panicked than I had entered.

Fast forward a little to graduation. Still no freaking clue what I was doing. I couldn't really even enjoy my day of celebration because everyone kept asking me what I was going to do. Where did I intend on working? What was my plan? And I had no answers. Just an empty smile.

After about 75 resumes sent out & only 1 interview…I finally realized that I might have to go back to school. So, yet again, more options to wade through. I wanted to help people, right? And I wanted to be in ministry, right? Soooo, I just knew that I was supposed to go to seminary for Biblical Counseling.

*side note: There was this tiiiiiny, wittle thought that kept creeping in about nursing school. In fact, my first semester at MTSU in 2007 was dedicated to being pre-nursing. But I decided that first off, I didn't want to bust my butt for the program if I wasn't 100% sure…and second, I didn't want to be a nurse because my mom was a nurse. So, I changed my major to ORCO (Organizational Comm…not a whale)*

About 3 weeks after graduation, I got a call from my mom saying that they were in need of some extra help in the Recovery Room at the surgery center she worked for. And since I was jobless…I said "YEEEEESSSS!!!" I knew that I would be working with my mom in a job that wasn't with my degree but hey, desperate times call for desperate measures…

and, sweet Jesus, if I didn't walk out after my first day of work & think to myself "holy cuss, I'm going back to school…NURSING SCHOOL."

I just knew. And I had never experienced clarity or peace like that in my life. But I just knew it was exactly the right answer. The right path. But how in the world was it going to work out?! I was going to have to go back to undergrad & find a way to pay for it. Plus, I had to take classes in order to even be able to apply for the program…and then what if I didn't get in? But yet again…I just knew it was going to work out somehow. So, I did it. I was accepted to MTSU's School of Nursing for the Fall of 2012.

Fast forward to the spring of 2013. I had been at Belle Aire Baptist Church for close to ten years but I felt that God was pulling me elsewhere. I had been very active in both youth and college ministries & was leading a group of high school girls at the time. I just had this uneasiness…that's the best way I knew to describe it…but I couldn't imagine leaving my girls. I loved being their leader. I loved laughing with them. I loved watching them grow. But I finally realized that I was no good to them as a spiritual leader if I, myself, was not listening to what I felt God calling me to do. So, that's when I decided to try out City Church, a church plant here in Murfreesboro.

I knew a lot of people who went there & at that point my college pastor, Jerel, had stepped down at Belle Aire in order to pursue planting a church in South Florida & he was also attending City Church. My first Sunday was May 5, 2013…and I remember leaving with a feeling that I had felt only once before. I just knew…this was my home. I even remember the moment that did it for me. The pastor, Trevor Atwood, called a couple up to the front (we were meeting at a rented venue on the square at the time called the Walnut House) where there was a horse trough filled with water. I watched that couple be baptized into new life with Christ in a way that I had never witnessed before. In a horse trough. In a building that was rented every Sunday. And I watched the husband come out of the water, get out and baptize his wife, and then every person in the room cheer. And not a polite Southern Baptist clap…but an eruption of praise. And I couldn't ignore the beauty I was witnessing.

I decided to become a covenant member with City Church in August of that year & my two best friends, Ami and Angela (even all the way from Texas), demanded that I get on the worship team. But I had never done anything like it before…the thought of singing in front of people basically sent me into convulsions & there was no way that I was good enough to do something like that. But Ami and Angela…you just don't tell them no…especially not because of fear. One of the MANY reasons they are my girls. So, I walked right up to the guy in charge of the worship team & asked how I could get on the team…and then I probably went & threw up somewhere. haha

That next Sunday, I was on stage for the first time leading worship. And I can honestly say that leading worship is by far my favorite ministry that I have ever taken part in. God will take you out of your comfort zone & if you just trust that He is enough…He will do a great work.

During the summer of 2013, I began talking to Jerel about the possibility of helping with the church plant he was doing in Miami. I knew I had a year and a half until a graduated (which seemed like an ETERNITY) and could actually do anything but you know…it's always good to have options! So, having always been a firm believer that you don't necessarily have to pray for open doors…I began praying then for Miami and for God to obviously close doors if that was not an option.

And God never gave me a closed door.

Even after my initial visit last January…and again in July…I just knew.

Jerel had brought together a team of people to help him. He took with him two of my dearest friends from college, Blake & Caroline Herron, as well as one of my roommates from college and her husband (who was in a lot of my classes and was actually a friend of mine before they got together), Kelsey & Dwayne Gibbs. So every time I went to visit, I was visiting what felt like family. Community. People who knew me and my heart and I wanted to be a part of what they were doing. So, I kept praying.

I had finally started letting people in on my Miami thoughts and plans. Partly because I needed extra prayer warriors and partly because you can't make two trips to Florida to visit them & not raise suspicion.

Fast forward again to December 2014…I GRADUATED FROM NURSING SCHOOL! And I gave the keynote speech at pinning that I like to think made even the grown men in the audience shed a little tear. Then, a couple of weeks ago I underwent the most stressful & terrible testing experience of my life. But I came out the other side & I am humbled to say that I am now Katie Suggs, RN.

Wow. It still doesn't feel real. But God's provision has been so perfect and crazy and intricate and good. I know this post is long but I'm even leaving out so much of God's goodness towards me over these last couple of years. Literally, EVERYTHING that has happened has been part of His crazy design and it all finally makes sense.

Now, here comes the big news.

Monday of this week was a rough one. I walked into work (I currently work as a tech in the Emergency Room here in Murfreesboro and I could go on and on about that job. How much I've learned, how much I've grown, how much I love what I do…) and found out that I might not be able to work there anymore as a tech because now that I am an RN, it's out of my scope of practice. And I had been working on a really credible job lead in Florida that I also found out fell through. And on top of that, I found out that I no longer had a car. What seemed like a minor fix and tune up turned into me finding out that I was driving a death trap that would cost too much to fix.

When I came home that night, my parents and I just sat in the living room defeated. Why was everything falling apart? Yes, I knew that no one was dying but what was I supposed to do?! I had the option of accepting the job as an RN that was waiting on me at the ER but I would have to sign a 2 year contract. Accepting the job would allow me to have my dream job, good money, a new car, and health insurance…but why had His calling been so clear to be in Florida this whole time if this was how it was going to end?

Y'all. I was beyond confused. Was this spiritual warfare where I just needed to trust that God was going to provide or were these things closed doors to Miami? I don't have a car to even drive down there anymore. And logic told me what my answer was…but I couldn't accept it.

God's plan for my life had been too clear for years now for one bad Monday to cause it to all come tumbling down. And as Ami said to me "God is not a god of confusion." And He ain't called Provider for no reason.

After talking to my crew of people down in Florida and bombarding their phones with my frantic ramblings of WHAT THE HECK DOES THIS MEEEEAN?!, sweet Caroline (bah bah bahhhh) Herron said "Katie, sometimes God takes away all that we cling to…even logic"…

So that all leads me to here…where I tell you that today I put in my two weeks notice at the ER and bought a one way plane ticket to South Florida. And when I get there, I will be living with one of the 4 families I know there…and they are letting me borrow their car. Yes, I have been applying frantically for jobs down there. No, I haven't heard from any yet. But I have full confidence that God will provide. He called me to this a long time ago…and it looks nothing like the way I thought or planned that it would…and that's because He needs me to know that He has it covered. It's nothing that I've done but that I've been part of HIS plan the whole time.

I'm going down to help with a church plant pastored by the same man, Jerel Olson, who listened to me freak out about what to do after graduation.
I'm going to be serving alongside that couple, Jeremy and Katie Elliott, that drew me in to City Church with their baptism because guess what? They answered the same call to move to South Florida that I'm doing.

I'm broke. Jobless. And no car. But I serve a God much bigger than all of that. I'm tired of living like I don't.

No matter my circumstances, the tomb is still empty, Jesus is still on His throne, and His call is still on my heart.

February 22…I'm coming for you Florida.